Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize