that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
