Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
