The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
