It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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