hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
