They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
