I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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