Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i think im in europe. pls send help
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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