3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
