I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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