how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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