Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
