When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
