she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
