So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
