I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
