I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize