Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
