Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
