its not stalking. its research.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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