yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We have so much sex to catch up on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
