What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
