The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
where are you?
Hypothermia
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
