No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
