Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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