I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
