Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize