just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
