nutella sex= disaster
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
