Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
