so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
