I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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