when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
