also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You need a sexual gate keeper
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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