that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I die, sorry about rent.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
