just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
honey bunches of taint.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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