thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
