I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
