this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
