I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
