we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
