I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
