Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
