It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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