I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
