No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
