my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize