i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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