I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I love you.
Bad choice
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
