why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
