Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
