just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
