sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
