i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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