Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
