remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
