Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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