just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I didn't notice because vodka
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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