he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
