so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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