it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
