pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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