Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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