Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
