Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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