im holly from the hills drunk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize