i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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