hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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