Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
