I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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