I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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