Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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